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- By George Rivers For David Letterman
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- TOP TEN BUMPERSTICKERS ON THE U.S.S. ENTERPRISE
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- 10. "Our other starship separates into 3 pieces!"
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- 9. "One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day...hint hint!"
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- 8. "HONK if you've slept with Commander Riker!"
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- 7. "Guns don't kill people...Class 2 Phasers do!"
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- 6. "Zero to Warp 9.7 in 13 seconds!"
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- 5. "CAUTION...We have a trigger happy Klingon at tactical."
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- 4. "If you can read this...don't you think you're a wee bit too close?"
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- 3. "Have you hugged a Ferengi today?"
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- 2. "We brake for cubes!"
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- 1. "Wesley On Board!"
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- END
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